Senator Levin bemoans
Our system of taxicab zones
He’s all for home rule
But he drove one in school
And that’s how he paid off his loans

If the distance you travel is great
Zones give you a way better rate
The problem’s zone one
Where the rides cost a ton
And hill staffers there are irate

No doping in Iowa

July 26, 2007

No doping here. Photo courtesy of Wonkette.

(Either say ‘France’ like an American or ‘pants’ like you’re British)

What John chose to do post-debate
Was bike through the whole Hawkeye state
It’s no Tour de France
But there were spandex pants
And I hear that his hair still looks great

He was a she in DC jail

July 25, 2007

It came as a total surprise
When seen with their very own eyes
Much to their anguish
Two days she did languish
In prison surrounded by guys

On Saturday Bush had to spread
And after the doctors all said
“The freedoms he’s stolen
Are not in his colon,
What’s next, should we check out his head?”

Who hates pizza?!? The guy on the left does. Photo courtesy of the NYTimes.

Their plan was to talk through the night
And crush the resolve of the right
Alas Harry Reid
Could not take the lead
To order a tastier bite

If I had been there to advise
I would have said no pizza pies
No wonder they lost
Their eyes must have crossed
Just wishing they had chicken thighs

To choose whom from wax they will hew
For Madame Tussauds’ next debut
The public response
Was yes, please ensconce
Mayor Barry for D.C. to view

Lohan out of rehab

July 17, 2007

Photo courtesy of CNN.

Once famous for getting so pissed
She now wears a thing on her wrist
It keeps careful track
When she tosses one back
Quick, get her a drink with a twist

Bush says that we’re fine on just eight
Of the benchmarks we’ve measured to date
The ones that are bleak
Are pretty unique
To forming a viable state

The president just won’t concede
That a different plan is in need
If they can’t split the oil
Then no further toil
Will help reconstruction proceed

This guy is way too cute to pay for sex. Photo courtesy of Wikipedia.

On Tuesday D.C. was a’twitter
With the latest from Senator Vitter
“It’s true I called in
And that was a sin
But it’s over, I promise I quit ‘er!”

It seems that we’ve heard this before
Involving a different whore
From illegit kids
To folks taking bids
Oh the things a storm makes you ignore

It sucks for Al Gore #3
Who’s been on a painkiller spree
But to lessen the load
Of his crime on the road
His Prius gets great M.P.G.

On Saturday dad took the mike
To combat our thermostat hike
Can’t do much but hope
His son lay off the dope
And trades his car in for a bike